Friday's visit with my oncologist went well. It actually was pretty wonderful news as I see it. My oncologist is a pretty reserved man. He's soft spoken and quiet but he tells it like it is. Friday's visit was my normal 6 month check up that I have been doing since the end of chemo. It's been 2 1/2 years now. Every visit he talks with me about my CT scan results and lab work. I'm used to him asking - "How are you feeling? Any belly pain? Any pain anywhere else?". Then he has said - "well, your lab work looks good and your CT is good". Then he schedules me for another workup 6 months later.
This time however, he said with a smile "Your labs and your CT look great. It's been 2 1/2 years now and this is really good. Lets do one more scan and lab in 6 months then we can see about waiting a year.".
As I left - I am silently praying - "Thank you Jesus !". I couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news. Not just good news - but GREAT news !
My experience with cancer has changed how I live. For everyday after my oncologist visit I ignore that I ever had cancer. Until about a week before I'm scheduled for my CT scan and labs. Then my mind begins to prepare me for the results of the labs and scan. First comes the fear of "what if it comes back". Then comes "you will deal with it, whatever it is". Next comes "be grateful for the time you've been given". For the rest of the days up until the visit with my doctor and I hear the results my mind keeps running the process of this circle of thoughts. I'm glad to put off the process for another six months and hope to get to put it off for a year after that.
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